DECEPTION WITHIN SHADOWS.

Sometimes I slip,
For when I think of you,
I plummet into the depths of my mind.

Light dissipating,
For I found darkness within you.
Etched within, wounds you swore to have left confined.

Hatred in bawled fists you threw,
Shattering the tie I though to bound you and I.
I bid you now, please unwind.

Meaningless tears shed,
Yet I was a fool to have believed you bled.
Curse me, for I should have drawn the line.

Standing beneath this dying tree,
Love I claimed lasted an eternity.
Now alone, a tangible emptiness grazing the fingertips we once kept entwined.

Like a dove lost without its lover,
Attraction wilts and soon dies,
Pity that unspoken flutter laced within calling you mine.

Within the emptiness of this soul,
Lies a soundless whisper ever so bold,
For even without, I will make it out defined.

FORGIVENESS

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Forgiveness is mercy.
Such pardon and kindness I cannot fathom.

Forgiveness is unfailing love.
Such patience and understanding I cannot comprehend.

Forgiveness is overwhelming compassion.
Such sympathy and warmth I cannot reciprocate.

Forgiveness is the blotting out of transgressions.
Such freedom and good will I do not deserve.

Forgiveness is the washing away of my iniquities.
Such purity and newness I cannot maintain.
O Lord, open my lips, and my mouth will declare your praise.

REMEMBERING TO FORGET YOU.

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I can forget it all you know,
Every missed call or cancelled date,
Your job never lost first place and so,
I’m always second, it’s no debate.

I can erase every heartache
The tears, the pain and lies you spoke
I can undo every mistake,
And mend together the life you broke.

I can make it all disappear,
Each memory will simply vanish
My mind will be completely clear,
Every thought of you will be banished.

It’s funny though considering,
I’ve tried to have memory loss and yet,
I find myself remembering,
The memories I want to forget.

Wishing desperately by a well,
With every penny and every dime,
Every mere thought of you that dwell
Is nothing more than a lapse in time.

MY PLEDGE

I do not exist for a name to earn,
or lead a life for all to yearn.

I sift the grains on path of my past,
To breathe the gusts of wisdom they impart.
The mingled whiff of tears and bliss,
Greets me with warm embraces and kiss.

A stench hauls me to times of grief,
When i questioned my strength and all beliefs.
Just when the claws of grief held tight,
The gust of wisdom brought traces of might.

The trail of tears soon fade away,
And i sense nerve all the way.
‘Courage seeps in soon after pain’,
A thought , my mind had now ingrained.

As i do not exist for a name to earn,
But learn to live and live to learn.

Cupid’s Dart

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NOW Cupid, once, he made a fool of me,
He struck me with his wayward, golden dart;
And all at once I felt sweet agony,
Just like a glowing ember in my heart.

I heard a voice; then something caught my eye;
An orange butterfly came into view;
And then again that voice, this time, said ‘Hi’;
I slowly raised my eyes and there stood you.

Smiling you asked, ‘May I have a light?’
And suddenly my heart was all aflame;
I’m sure I fell in love at that first sight,
A random victim of the love-god’s aim.

You took a light then left, I felt confused,
And on my puzzled heart I sat and mused.

Now here’s my bloody sonnet for today,
A trifle for my daily exercise;
It’s best I try to keep it light and gay,
Tho’ truly I am full of heavy sighs.

My muse has been holding himself aloof,
Yet condescends to text my mobile phone;
He says he thinks poetry’s for poufs!
When will he give this dog a friggin’ bone?

These rude, unpolished rhymes are from the heart:
If I should catch that mischief-making God,
I’ll wring his scrawny neck and break his dart,
And fling his poxy carcass ‘neath the sod.

So what if poetry is somewhat queer,
We all know Shakespeare was a sonneteer.

.#MyPenWillWrite.

THE PAIN IN MY HEART.

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My mind is a tsunami of emotional forces,
It’s so hard to think and I’ve drained all my resources,
My blood is churning, my head is banging,
On the thinnest thread of survival, my life is hanging.

I know not how much longer I can hold out,
I may not survive this next bout,
There is an agony I carry inside of me,
A certain darkness I don’t want the world to see.

There are secrets known to me alone,
I’ve got sins for which only I can atone,
Deep regrets, scars and silent tears,
A vile burden carried through the years.

A promise broken, a covenant betrayed,
A partner denied, mutual plans derailed,
All for reasons I now stand to regret,
Her death is a tragedy I cannot forget.

I can find no forgiveness for my decision,
Cowardice, fear and blatant indecision,
Robed my partner of life; the life we both wanted,
I can scarcely explain the excuse I granted.

To abandon loving partner that final night,
And leave her without strength or might,
All for the profanity of going to school,
Pleasing others like every other fool.

I still remember her face lined with tears,
As she held on to me; the sum of all her fears,
I should have stayed, we would have survived,
Her lost will or desire would have been revived.

I left her side when she needed comfort,
Yet she never let me experience discomfort,
I know she died alone in a strange land,
Without the comfort of a loving hand.

The pain she went through was undeserved,
Perhaps a measure of such should be reserved,
For me, most treasured and trusted lover,
Who took flight when I was supposed to hover?
And watch over her like a hawk,
Stand behind her like a rock,
Instead I retreated to my own little cove,
And turned my back on fragile lady dove.

The memoir we swore to jointly write,
How can I then know what is right?
When my love walks with the angels now,
And all I can do is shake my head and bow.

Tears well up in my eyes as memories flow back,
She didn’t stay long but she surely left her mark,
I remember it all and I cannot hold back the tears,
The nights we spent together now seem like years.

I learnt all I needed to live or write at her table,
Characters, imagination and guile make a good fable
Judge not another without feeling his or her woe,
And live your life without a foe.

Lessons that have seen me to higher ground,
Making steady progress without a single sound,
Yet when my plan came to fruition, my love was no more,
All the adulation and praise meant nothing, I wanted more.

I wanted to hear her verdict, her laughter resounding into the night,
I needed to cup her face under the stars and kiss her in the moonlight,
Even as I kissed another, I could feel the tears in my eyes,
I turned and looked towards the starry skies.

Perhaps I’d catch a glimpse of her face, her hair,
All I could feel was the coldness of the air,
Yet I must accomplish one final task,
The strength to do so is all I ask.

Dearest love, if you can hear me help me recover,
Fill in the spaces I fail to discover,
Bid me find another like you to lean on,
Help me to stay true this time and push on.

Amidst the storm we found solace in unity,
For us, and those who believe in true diversity,
I fear I must drop my pen at this joint,
Lest my tears ruin this fine ink at this point.
You will return of course; you must,
Ghost, lady, angel; you’ll always be first!

HER DRESS, MY CHOICE.

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Silk dress

She wore the little silk dress,
Up amidst  her thing was the beginning its lace,
She swung it around my face,
Torturing my feeling of wanting to caress.

I thought it would be nice n slow,
As I watch her dance in the light,
making the dress glow.
hypnotized by the rocking, I let myself go.

I touched but long before I even tasted,
My heart had flowed from me into her breast,
And then he went high and south;
And left my carcass roasting into the fire she’d lit.